Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
