My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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