I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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