this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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