your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
