A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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