You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
