when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
