My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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