Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
