Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
