My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
