But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
