Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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