Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
