It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She even gives head with a lisp.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
