RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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