actually, I'm a sock model
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
