Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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