New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize