Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i already hear my dad disowning me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
