He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
