D3 body, D1 cock
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
