I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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