We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
