kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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