When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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