Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
