we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
