Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
