woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
