Dual....:-)
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's never too late to be topless.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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