He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize