You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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