Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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