dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
