they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
