u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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