those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
