I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
