I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
