When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
