STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
