Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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