I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
