never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
