I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
