Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My hand turned me down
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
