if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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