so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
