I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
