i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
