so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
