well you can't waste a boner
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
