some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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