Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
