So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
