i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize