So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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