Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
