You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
