we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
