do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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