he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
