What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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